Sunday, May 24, 2020

20 Funny Work Jokes to Get You Through The Day - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career

20 Funny Work Jokes to Get You Through The Day - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career We all need some humor in the workplace and laughing is very good for our health. If you see your coworkers are stressed out or depressed, then tell one of the jokes below to cheer them up a little bit and embellish their days. There are only 10 (1 or 0) types of people. Those who know binary and those who don’t. Team work is important; it  helps  to put the blame on someone else. When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, A very good doctor. There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on the food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin. Some people say the glass is half full.  Some people say the glass is half empty.  Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary. I asked the corporate wellness officer,  â€œCan you teach me yoga?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.” I get plenty of exercise â€" jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines. If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday. The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. Things really haven’t gotten worse. We’ve just improved our inter-departmental communication skills. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station… Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Keep the dream alive: hit the snooze button. My biggest professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor but me. Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others. I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me. Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday. I always tell new hires, dont think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you.

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